Check In

19May13

Hello . . . to you.

 

I’ve been in deep lately and the lights I see aren’t’ always trustworthy, if you know what I mean.

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I feel bad because a few people had tried to make connections with me during this absence, and I hope to pick up those threads.

 

I’m so easily overwhelmed right now that even the thought of a doctor’s appointment makes me anxious  – does anyone get this?

 

I haven’t the words, but I could desperately use some.

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Please wish me luck.

 

I promise that I will return to writing as soon as I have a plate to put this on.

 

Love.

 

(P.S. I’m not sure how often or soon I will be able to come back to this. I love you all for the camaraderie, kind words, and knowledge)

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12 Responses to “Check In”

  1. Trust the good stuff. Wishing you hope and strength

  2. 2 Casey

    I understand.

    best wishes.

    love back

  3. 3 hart35

    Sometimes what we anticipate is worse than the reality.

    Be well.

  4. I pray you find light in the midst of your darkness. I’ve been there and know how awful it can be.

  5. 6 Rose

    I hope for you that things clear up soon. The darkness is a terrible place to be, and I agree that even the smallest, simplest thing can feel insurmountable. There are people out there praying for you and thinking of you. Best, Smrtie

    • Thank you 🙂 I’m taking small tentative steps back out into the blogging world. It was a huge help to see people like you leaving me a note of encouragement. I’m back in the light

  6. I get it. I hear you. Hang in there. You are not alone.

    There are so many here that read what you write about, and you should know this: You Count. When you are down, and it seems like it is lasting forever, you can drop everything except that truth. You Count.

    And…. do go to the dr. appointment. Did you end up going? If you did, it is a big win. If you did not, just making another appointment is another big win.

    Love and Prayers, -S.

    • Thank you so much! I did end up going to my doctor. Things have gotten better in most areas but I’m still wary of falling back down. Thank you for your very kind words, The fact that you took the time to write meant a lot to me.

  7. …if you’re going to use your blog as a recovery tool, you can’t write to or for anyone but yourself. Use this space as the one place where you can be absolutely honest with yourself. Don’t worry about coming back here until you’re ready to do it. If you need, or want, the feeling of community that comes with a blog, and “don’t have the words”, post some photos or videos or music until you do.

    I did, in the beginning, get anxious about seeing a doctor… I had a very hard time dealing with any aspect of the disease, because I didn’t understand it was a disease — something that can be treated and, with work and proper treatment, can be overcome.

    If it helps, these are some of the lessons I learned during the 18-years I went between diagnosis and getting treated…

    http://saltedlithium.wordpress.com/2008/08/04/exact-science/

    Good luck.

    • Thanks for the straight talk, and the advice. I read it a while ago and it has helped. This is the first time I have been on here for . . . well, since things really started coming apart. It’s comments like yours that have helped in the meantime. Thanks 🙂

      • …we’re all in this together. It’s important to understand (in my opinion) that the disease of manic depression (bipolar, whatever) does to one of us the same as it does to all of us — at the very least it isolates us, makes it impossible to focus on what’s real and rational, takes away our ability to reason, or to think forward.

        Manic depression is a narrow disease, it’s a thin sheet of ice covering an ocean that shows us a warped reflection of who were really are. It takes time, and proper treatment — doctors, talking, medications, proper foods, Vitamin D, Stuff, learning, reading — but it can be broken.

        People have gone before us, people recover from this disease and go on to have healthy, fulfilled and safe lives. The paths are there, we just have to find one that works and do our best to stay on it.


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