Betrayal

11Dec12

Betrayal . . .

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Betrayal is powerful. It cuts deep and leaves wounds that never heal. For people with hidden disabilities, their limitations can be pressed and pushed and bent leaving the person bruised, broken, and feeling betrayed by those who offend. More often than not, the offender has very little idea they have wrought such horror, and apologies follow and time leaves a scar but friendships carry on. When these limitations are purposefully pushed, manipulated, or broken, by people you trust, this is betrayal.

“A true friend stabs you in the front.”  ― Oscar Wilde

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to turn into a blog for complaining – I’m not interested in being any part of that.

I’ve recently been, ummm, victim (? I hate the word, but it will have to do. Suggest another, wont you?) of this betrayal. It is difficult for me, as a person with a mood disorder, to always respond in ‘normal’ ways to these attacks, and so I usually find myself deep in depression, or burning bridges with anyone and everything that crosses my path (my BP friends will savour that feeling). The problem of course is that, as a parent, these options aren’t very constructive.

So, along with perhaps, medications and therapy and hopefully a friend or two who can keep you moving and motivated, you can get through this betrayal without going into hibernation or burning the world down.

The key to saving your soul from those who would like to hurt you is this:  You are one. You are complete. You are who you are regardless of the judgement of others. You need only to find peace within yourself. You need to save yourself first, and then from that safe place, you will be more able, equipped, and enabled to help the people you love.

There will always be people who want or seem to push boundaries and as adults we have to put up with the people who never learned how to be around other people – It’s a giant pain to be so considerate of inconsiderate people, but we are better than that and we judge ourselves by our actions so, we are good people by our actions, not others judgements.  Does that run on sentence make sense?

“Henceforth I ask not good fortune. I myself am good fortune.” – Walt Whitman

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I strongly encourage meditation on this.

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3 Responses to “Betrayal”

  1. “You need to save yourself first, and then from that safe place, you will be more able, equipped, and enabled to help the people you love.”

    So absolutely true. I used to try to save everybody else and forgot about me. The only thing that did for me was set myself up to fail. And fail spectacularly I did.

    I have hashimoto’s thyroidits, which I came to find out mimics bipolar mood swings. I also have complex-PTSD, which often mimics borderline personaltiy disorder, yet, in defense of the borderline, I believe our society sets us up for this disorder in many, many ways. I’ve been co-dependent to my husband’s binge-drinking and his numerous attempts at self-destruction involving alcohol and guns.

    I’m beginning to realize my mood swings (whatever the origin) is a natural response to untenable situations.

    On the few posts I read, I love your writing style.

    • You are absolutely right! Society does set us up for these things. We are in a culture that obsesses over everything (just look at how much attention Paris Hilton got for not really doing anything more than being a spectacle), but rarely values truly valuable things. A tonne of money goes into selling us things that we don’t need, and yet so little effort (in comparison) is pushed toward health care, especially mental health.
      I think I have the topic for my next blog post – thanks 🙂


  1. 1 Dealing with betrayal? | candid sparrow

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